One-Year Anniversary of my Blog

I can't believe it's been a year since my first blog! It seems like yesterday when I was wearing my Bears onesie and Dad took a picture and signed me up. 85 posts later and here I am.

There are a few people I need to thank. Well...wait. I guess there are two people. My Mum. And my Dad. So...thanks to those people.

And all of you. My fans! Thanks for all the great feedback and support. It means a lot to us when we hear about something that makes you laugh.

Time Out?

What do you mean, Dad? I don't need a timeout. I'm really sorry. I know that I wasn't supposed to throw that piece of bagel on the floor. And I didn't throw that tomato- it's squished under my butt.

What? This electrical outlet? The one that I'm slowly moving my finger toward while I am staring at you? I'm not going to put my finger in it and no, I'm not...testing...you.

I don't need a timeout. I just really wanted to pour that container full of water out of the tub and onto your pants, I thought it would be funny. Jeez!

What do you mean I can't run with my shoes untied?

Why can't I pet that stray doggie?

That cord connected to your laptop is cool!

Jimmy!

We visited Jimmy in Chicago and he made me wear this Cubs hat. That's why I look so upset in the photo. He was fun, though. He has a swinging bachelor pad right in the city. We went to the zoo and then came back and watched Sponge Bob Square Pants and ate lip balm.

"Put Her to Work!"

Mum is enjoying a Labatt Blue Light while I am busy watering the jalapenos. I don't eat them, they're too spicy.

Doesn't Neighbor Mike have an interesting roof on his garage? He says he's waiting for it to blow over so he can build a new one.

My Girlfriends

Baylee and Brooke met me at Starbucks and we talked about Baby Suri and other stuff. I think Tom Cruise should have introduced her to the media right away, it would have been good PR and he might not have lost his contract with Paramount.

Brooke, is that my double shot non-fat mocha latte?

B!

Dad is always on the phone with this guy Uncle B. I'm like, jeez, what do they talk about? It's always baseball, football, even cooking. Dad says he is 60% something. The other night they talked about making something called "rat-tat-tat-touile" (Dad says Uncle B grows a lot of zucchini). Dad makes tomato juice but he always says it doesn't taste as good as B's.

When we visited Wisconsin this summer Uncle B was visiting too! He called me E. So I called him B! And then it just got crazy! He would yell "E!" and I had to respond like, right away with "B!"

"E!" "B!" He's like the coolest guy!

Marigold Ears

Dad picked me up at 5 from school and we went to Wegman's. He said he needed some onions for tomato sauce. I didn't want to go but when we got to the bagel section he gave me one and it took me the whole trip to eat it.

When we got home we went for a walk and Dad got freaked out because this stray dog sort of surprised us. Out of nowhere, Dad felt it brush the back of his legs and then it tried to lick me but he picked me up really fast and took me inside. I thought the dog was cute so as we were walking in I kept yelling, "Hi Doggie!" but Dad was moving pretty fast and starting to sweat, saying that the dog had no leash and he looked mean. I wonder if this means that we are going to move to the suburbs.

I had some cheese and kielbasa for dinner (thanks Adina and Markus--Dad calls it a "hot dog" but I know that it is the real thing).

After dinner we picked some marigolds and took a picture. Dad was picking tomatoes and fennel and hanging out by the Composter 9000 so he looks like a mess.

Double Skunk

Dad came up with this title for today's blog. I don't get it. He said that when you lap someone twice in Cribbage you "double skunk" them. Then he connected it to a tennis match that he played today. He explained that it had something to do with beating Markus 6-0, 6-0, and avenging Andre Agassi's loss last weekend at the US Open. You see, Adina and Markus came to visit up this weekend and Markus is from Germany and so is Benji Becker and Becker beat Andre and forced him into retirement. Dad said it didn't matter that Markus had only played tennis twice in his lifetime, that it was still an important moment for the USA, and therefore for us, as citizens.

I had more fun hanging out with Adina in the kitchen and yelling, "A-MEN"!!!

Why do we have all these Vegetables?

I just want to eat chips or wheat thins or maybe some Banilla yogurt. It is fun to pick and eat the cherry tomatoes, though. I like to watch Mum's expression because she says they are "chokable" size.

Whatever.

Sushi Night

We had sushi the other night, but Dad forgot to clean all the wasabi off my plate. I was really enjoying my tuna roll until this burning sensation started in the back of my throat and then went into my nose. I guess I started to cry and scream a little because they had to carry me out of the kitchen. Dad had a really concerned look on his face.

I used to talk to the Sushi guys at Wegman's all the time, but I think I may steer clear for a bit.

fo' shizzle my nizzle

I have been living the gangsta lifestyle this summer, but have decided it is not for me. I wasn't keepin' it real. So, I'm back. Holla back homies! The E Bean is in da house. Everybody say YEAH!

YEAH!