Tofu Pups
Scene: The kitchen. It is evening. Mum and Dad are preparing dinner while Elsa waits in her high chair, snacking on crackers.
Dad: Your mother would like you to- Mum interrupts him with a cough and glare. Your mother…AND I…would like you…to…try these…
Mum: Come on, just say it.
Dad: quickly Your mother and I would like you to try these tofu pups. What do you say?
Elsa: The bway-da bada ada boddle.
Dad: Right, just as I thought. Turns to return pups to refrigerator. Mum grabs them and puts one in microwave. Dad moves to high chair and whispers: Just so you know E, this was not my idea.
Mum: I heard that.
Dad: turning We can’t do this to her. Mum places the tofu pup on Elsa’s plate.
Mum: Do you know what’s in hot dogs?
Dad: Of course I do. All kinds of pork goodness.
Mum: From unspeakable places. Would you rather her eat that?
Dad: Yes. pause Yes I would.
Mum: Oh, come on.
Dad: If you don’t think about it, it won’t bother you.
Elsa: Babba babba in da boddle.
Dad: Look, now you’ve upset her.
Mum: Hardly, look at her eat that tofu pup.
Dad: Aah! He grabs package Sweetheart, just look at this list of ingredients. “Organically spray-dried tofu…”
Elsa: Babba babba in da BWEEEEEEEE!
Dad: “…beet powder...”
Mum: I think she wants another one.
Dad: …and here it says, “Not recommended for barbecue.” What’s up with that?
Mum: Cut up another one for her, will you?
Dad: goes to refrigerator, grabs pups, takes one. Tofu pups. They’re from California for chrissake.
Elsa: In da boddle. Babba babba BWEEEEEEEE!
posted by Jeremy @ 9:06 AM
4 Comments:
I knew I felt a disturbance in the force. This is back sliding people!
Uncle B just might have to step in.
Call the Meat Police! Fire up the grill! I think I'm taking Elsie on a trip to Skip's Meat Market when I get home.
Dear Elsa,
We just ate dinner. We (Savoy and Maeve) would not eat the Smart Dogs, only the Hebrew Nationals. Our Mom says Hebrew Nationals are okay because the meat from unspeakable places is Kosher. By the way, how do you type your words on the computer?
Savoy and Maeve,
Usually I let Dad handle al of these comments, but let me address your question. I like to sit at my desk in the early afternoon, where the light filters through the curtains beautifully. I am able to reflect on my day. As far as reaching the keyboard, that is hard. I have to sort of guess where the letters are. So far so good though, don't you think?
Elsa
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